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Infinity Mirrors: Denied

April 30, 2017
Red Bubble Snowy Street Use

Infinity Mirrors with Cake Man-ifestation

I have failed to get into Yayoi Kusama’s “Infinity Mirrors” at the Hirshhorn Museum. Or, more accurately, once I tried the normal approaches, I refused to do the things it would otherwise take to get into the show.

Here are the things I tried to do:

Get tickets online. The first time I tried this, I foolishly checked the Hirshhorn website fifteen minutes after tickets were supposed to become available. DENIED. The second time I was super-crafty. I lurked on the webpage ahead of time. I refreshed. I refreshed again. I clicked on things until they engaged, and I ultimately got to the tickets page during the 30-second window each week it is allegedly open. I did not, however, manage to get tickets in those thirty seconds.

Go to the Hirshhorn Museum during lunch on a day with nasty weather and attempt to play the “I’m just one person and it sure looks like tornado weather out there which must be why it’s so empty in here and surely you could handle one more person in the exhibit cuz seriously isn’t the space infinite?” card. That also did not work.

Here are the things I refused to do:

Pumpkin Room Assemblage Use

Pumpkin Room Crop Triumph

Stand in line from 7am-10am on a Saturday or Sunday to get tickets. Misguided principles and laziness shape this refusal.

Use leave on a workday to stand in line for 2 hours in the morning then come back later in the day to see the exhibit for an hour. THAT WOULD BE AN INEXCUSABLE USE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY CASH-MONEY!

Pay for tickets. Actually, I wouldn’t know where to start with this one, but some [insert rude word here] must be selling them.

Ditch out on a brick guy who was coming to my house to do an estimate about some work at the same time some of my awesome neighbors scored tickets including an extra one for me. This was a big mistake. The brick guy gave me such a fantastic line of bull about the job cost that I hurried him away as fast as I could. Unfortunately, it wasn’t fast enough to sprint to the Hirshhorn and meet up with the awesome be-ticketed neighbors. Plus, the neighbors had another friend capable of making the right life priority choices, and the ticket had already been given away.

Buy the lowest-tier Hirschhorn membership available ($50) so I could get in to see the show. I must admit, I was tempted by that bright shiny apple. I don’t mind donating money to the Smithsonian museums, and I commend the Hirshhorn for their innovative money-making effort. I just couldn’t quite bring myself to do it when I know “Frederic Bazille and the Birth of Impressionism” is open at the National Gallery of Art. [Note: The Hirshhorn is no longer selling memberships online, but on the day I visited, they said they were selling memberships in-person.]

Honey Badger and Octopus Original Cropped

Honey Badger and Octopus Share the Infinite Wheat Penny Hoard

Here is my pathetic lament:

Supply? Demand? Pah! And curse you, cruel Fates who determined I would not easily get free tickets to a renowned exhibit just cuz I want them! No, wait. That is the sound of me laughing derisively at myself before I whip out the world’s smallest violin and play “Cry Me A River” which actually sounds pretty good on that size of an instrument.

Luckily, making my own version of “Infinity Mirrors” was enough fun to take the edge off.

Good luck to those about to join the battle for tickets. I look forward to your pictures!

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